Sebastian
by RoseyG30
Summary: Does anyone really know the real Sebastian? What goes on in that boys head? Well, this is where you can get some answers. My take on Sebastian Smythe.


**A/N: A Sebastian one-shot because I love this boy. **

**Disclaimer: Anything you see or may recognize does not nor has ever belonged to me. **

Sebastian is known as the scheming, mischievous, and overly blunt Warbler. But, does anybody really know anything about him? Of course not! That would mean that Sebastian wasn't fulfilling the purpose of all the bull shit he throws out there.

Being gay and a screw up was never something Sebastian really wanted. Just because he was in the same crash as his mother means he should be dead as well? No? According to his father that's exactly what should have happened instead.

He was only eight years old when that stupid semi-truck hit him and his mother on the freeway. San Francisco had loads of highways and freeways and both mother and son just had to be on one at that fateful moment. It was a miracle Sebastian was able to pull through with how many injuries he had. His whole childhood went in a blur of hospitals and bed rest.

Once his mother passed away his father refused to stay in that city and moved him and his still ill son to Paris. The city was lovely but the problem was that Sebastian was to soar to really be able to move. His father didn't exactly like having his son around so whenever he could he drank, would sleep with everyone, and would come home to hit Sebastian repeatedly.

It continued on till he was sixteen. Sixteen was the year Sebastian was able to go out to a bar. Sixteen was also the year Sebastian lost his virginity to some French girl named Valerie. Sixteen was also the year that Sebastian became a father to two beautiful boys: Jason and Jaxon.

Of course Valerie wouldn't keep them and Sebastian's father wouldn't allow a disgrace anymore so Sebastian was shipped off with his two sons back to Westerville, Ohio. His father grew up in the town and had talked to the dean at Dalton Academy. By seventeen Sebastian was a single father of two and was trying to stay under the radar.

All the Warblers knew and all the teachers knew but that was it. Whenever Sebastian needed to meet someone or do something Sebastian dropped the twins off to either their grandparents or to the Dalton nursery where they stayed most of the time. They're only six months but were the smartest kids there.

Of course he'll go out to Scandals just to forget everything. He soon learned that love was something that didn't exist. Nobody loved him but he knew that his sons did. He loved them as well and tried to go out but that ended in heart-break and Nick not being able to leave him for some time.

Then Blaine Anderson appears. The Warbler's adore him and he's heard a lot about him. Time to toy with this boy to keep him away. Of course there's this charm that just pulls Sebastian in like a moth to a flame.

"No, don't fall for him!" But, too late. The only problem now was the unavoidable heart-break of not being able to have him because of his precious princess.

Then the slushy incident. It was supposed to scare them. It was never meant to be thrown at anyone. It wasn't going to touch Kurt at all. At least, it wasn't supposed to. Then Blaine flew in front of it and that's when Sebastian felt like killing himself. This wasn't the first time either.

"Did you hear him scream? The rock salt was only supposed to be there to glisten!" One of the freshmen said once the boys entered the Dalton school bus and took the trip back to school. Why was this happening?

Now he's to blame. He can't let them know his weakness. He'll accept the duel between Santana and will smirk through the whole thing not showing any type of backing down. That smirk stayed on his face till he entered the nursery and the person told him that Jaxon had been running a fever.

This was another time he couldn't bear to stay on this planet. He stayed all night in the hospital with Jason waiting to hear from the doctor. That's when the doctor had told him he had cancer, he just bawled. He cried for his son, for his mother, for his father, for Blaine, for Kurt, for the Warbler's, but not once did crying for himself count. He can't cry for himself; he has to stay strong.

Hospital visits were a natural thing now. He almost lived there. But when they told him that his son passed away while he was at school he couldn't breathe. He had a blade in his hand that night. Nick came in and grabbed it telling him that he needed to stop behaving like this and to stay strong for his sons.

"Son. It's son. Jaxon died during Warbler practice." That's when Sebastian lost it in front of someone. The first time in six years he cried in front of someone close to him. Again he cried for everyone but himself. Nick held him and called Jeff to take the baby and to take care of him while he takes care of Sebastian.

The next day he hears that Karofsky had committed suicide. Memorize flash from Scandals one night. He remembers being drunk, having a heated make-out session in the bathroom and then abandoning the person. He remembers insulting the boy and telling him to stay in the closet. What was he thinking?

Again, he cried and cried and cried. He didn't get out of bed. He refused to do absolutely anything. He lost weight, barely saw his son, and quickly organized a simple funeral for Jaxon. Meeting Blaine, Kurt, Santana, and Brittney at the Lima Bean was the hardest thing he ever did. He pretended to drink the coffee but then threw up afterwards. He tried to not burst into tears and confess everything but ended up doing that with Nick later in the night.

He performed on that stage and let the emotions go into his singing. He sang to himself and to everyone he hurt and who hurt him. This time after the performance he cried and this time he cried for himself and no one else.

He held his son for the first time in three days. He talked to Nick instead of crying his eyes out to him. He attempted to eat something. For the first time Sebastian was doing something for himself.

"I need to tell everyone something. So far only two of you know this and if it were up to me; you wouldn't." Sebastian had called all of New Direction and the Warblers into the Warbler hall knowing that if he came clean about everything it would be best. No one said anything so Sebastian continued with a shaky breath.

"My mom died when I was eight. I was in the car accident with her and I was in and out of hospitals for two years. My dad made us move to Paris and there he decided to use me as a punching bag." He heard a few gasps but just smirked a sad and old smirk.

"Please, no pity. I had been tired of it all and one day on my sixteenth birthday I got drunk and had sex with a girl. About three months later she informed me that she was pregnant. She had two boys and this is one of them." Sebastian went to the crib that was set up for the boys in the beginning of the year. He cradled the boy in his arms and gave him over to Jeff who took him and showed him to a few of the New Direction girls.

"My dad got very mad and decided to transfer me over to Dalton. I'll be spending next year here as well and a college of my choice as long as my, quote 'faggot ass stays the hell away from him." Sebastian looks up and can see Kurt and Blaine get uncomfortable fast.

"I've been ok. Trying to avoid anything as much as possible. Blaine, I'm sorry for the suggestiveness. I guess I learned to do that to make sure the person doesn't get attached to me. Also, I would like to tell you what really happened with that slushy." All of the New Directioners instantly got stiff and were all ears to hear this explanation.

"It was meant as a scare. The rock salt wasn't even meant to be in there. All we meant was to throw it up in the air and for it to go all over the floor. Kinda like blood, since it was like we were meeting up to fight. The freshmen decide to add rock salt to it to make it glisten under the lights in that garage. We weren't aiming for Kurt, even though it looked like it. It was a trick. Then when Blaine jumped in front it hit him at a low level. The amount of damage it would have done was ruin a few shoes not almost blind someone." The air was very tense. You could cut a knife through it. He watched their brains work through everything and he took a quick breath catching their attention.

"My son was diagnosed with cancer that day me and Santana had met. He died about a week later. He was very young and his immune system gave in. I now only have Jason." He felt Nick come up to him and give him a hug. He let out a choked sob and he didn't realize he was crying till that moment.

He heard everyone whispering and could hear a few sobs erupt. Only Nick and Jeff knew that Jaxon had died and he nearly collapsed but Nick helped him sit down on one of the couches. He rubbed his back and encouraged him to continue.

"Then, Karofsky attempted suicide. I met him before and I joked around with him because I was drunk. I told him to stay in the closet." He couldn't help but want to kill himself right there. Who was he to tell someone to stay in the closet? He can't help but look at Blaine and Kurt. Santana and Brittney were crying and so were the other two.

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I didn't eat or drink for days. I vomited constantly and I came back to the dorm one day and just lost it. The next thing I knew was that I was holding a blade in my hand and Nick was trying to pry it out. I cried all night and I couldn't bring myself to get up from the tile in the bathroom." He shook his head and Nick continued to rub his back knowing everything that was said. He lived through all the crying but seeing Sebastian so helpless? It was heart-aching.

"When I performed. I came back to Dalton and cried. Not because of the loss but because that was the only time I felt the need to cry. To cry for myself. Before, I was just something people needed. My father needed me as a punching bag. Valerie needed me for a hook up. Jaxon and Jason needed me as a parent. Jeff had taken Jason that night and Nick was staying at Jeff's. I was alone and I could finally cry for myself." He took a breath through his nose and exhaled through his mouth already feeling the headache coming.

"I just wanted you guys to know that I wouldn't want to hurt anyone intentionally. I'm sorry for the slushy, for the suggestiveness, I'm sorry for that stupid joke. I'm sorry to everyone and anyone that wants to hear it. I don't mean to hurt anyone." With that, Sebastian broke. He could feel the weights being lifted and he could finally breathe. He could breathe until a lot of pairs of arms were hugging him and telling him that everything would be fine.

He tried to believe them but with all the shit that's happened to him it's kinda hard. He smiles through it though. Everyone forgave him and that was another weight taken off him. It was nice to tell someone absolutely everything but it also mean that Sebastian was vulnerable. He looked up and saw everyone smiling at him and Jeff gives him his son. He could do with being vulnerable if it meant that he had someone to rely on when the vulnerability was taken advantage of.

**A/N: Hope you guys liked it! I wrote this down in my little one-shot book but never wrote it. Right now I'm hyper and I read a lot of Sebastian story's so I felt like uploading my own. **


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